i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
