I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
