is your mom at the bar?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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