Pappa wants mamma naked
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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