Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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