I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
