dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
