I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
