Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
