your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
