Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
