he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
