im about as happy as oj after his trial
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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