you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I want to fling myself into the sun
how drunk are you?
Several
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
