I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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