STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
