well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
