it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
