So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize