we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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