You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
