if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize