oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
