if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
