i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
