he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
