The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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