We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize