too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
