The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
