i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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