i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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