He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
