That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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