you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
