yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
