Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we made out on top of his cat.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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