i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
