the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
