he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
