I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
