ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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