it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize