he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
