You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
