For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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