sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
