READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
