You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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