Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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