Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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