I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
