Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
