im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
