Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
