I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
