im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
