i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
