the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
