i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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