false alarm. still invincible.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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