New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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