check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my vag is so smooth its legendary
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
